Chapter 1: A girl who wanted to Pampered: Part-1 [Bonus]

Chapter 1218: A girl who wanted to Pampered: Part-1 [Bonus]
Nyx Shadowfall’s POV
... Born between Life and Death.
My mother couldn’t accept me because I was an ugly half-flesh abomination, a twisted sight that almost made her vomit every time her eyes lingered on me.
And my father... he couldn’t accept me either, because my half-bones, so unnatural and brittle-looking, almost made him feel his own bones shatter in his jaw whenever he stared too long.
I was nothing more than a curse born from their union... thrown away like worthless refuse. I barely had anything to eat, nothing to live for. I just wandered aimlessly in those early childhood days, surviving on scraps, surviving on silence.
I have seen people shouting, tearing at each other’s throats, killing without remorse, but... nobody ever dared to touch me, nor even get close to me.
For them... I was already Dead, a corpse that just happened to be wrapped in the thinnest scraps of flesh.
The only one person who had the right to touch the dead was... The Grace.
And so they never even glanced at me, as though my existence itself had been erased from their eyes, as if I were no more than an illusion that haunted the edges of their vision.
Just like my parents.
An orphanage took me inside, claiming they would take care of me... and there, just like me, I saw many children who had been abandoned by their parents as well.
Even though I shouldn’t have felt joy, even though I had no reason to, yet... I smiled when I first saw them!
“They are like me.”
I muttered those words with a trembling, hopeful expression, thinking—no, convincing myself—that at last, I had found a family.
Yet, when I thought I could finally play with them, when I believed they would welcome me...
“Eww... You look disgusting!!”
“What’s with this flesh and bone... Yuck?”
They pointed at me, their faces twisting in revulsion, treating me as if I were something foul, something alien, as if I was different from them in the worst possible way!
Even though they themselves had strange shapes—some with oversized heads, others with long tails or warped features—and yet, despite all their deformities, they still looked at me with frowns, with disgust carved into their little faces.
“A-Am I... disgusting?”
I whispered the words as I looked down at my hands. One hand was covered in thin sheets of flesh, fragile and pale, while the other was nothing but naked bone. I tilted my head slowly toward the mirror, staring into it, and what I saw made me freeze... a face split in two: half flesh, half skeletal.
My hollow socket eye, my holed side nose... my jagged bone teeth... everything exposed, everything visible. That grotesque mix of flesh clinging where it shouldn’t. Even though it shouldn’t have been possible to exist, yet here I was—breathing and moving, living and... dying at the same time.
“I... I don’t know what to do.”
Soon, in desperation, I began to take flesh from the dead. I stacked their rotting scraps over my bones... At first, everyone screamed in terror, running away at the sight, horrified at how much more disgusting I had become.
Yet...
I don’t know how, but... somehow, I discovered a way to mend that flesh into mine. And... now... with enough concentration, I could turn my whole body into flesh with a mere thought. It wasn’t easy—every attempt was agony—but still, I managed, somehow, piece by piece.
I looked at the children again, hoping... praying that now they would see me as one of them, hoping they would let me join them once more.
After all, I was Normal now, right?
No more strange bones sticking out, no more half-flesh deformity, right?
No more weirdness to frighten them away... and yet...
“You smell like ash... yaakk!”
They recoiled. They could still feel it, still sense the part of me that was death itself... the curse within me that no matter how much I tried to bury, no matter how much flesh I layered, could never truly be hidden.
It was then... in that moment of despair, that Our Majesty, Empress Mary, whose name echoed across all lands for her greatness, reached out her hand and took me into her side.
At first, I was sad...sad that I was leaving behind what I had once called my friends... my friends?
Right?
Were they ever truly that?
But then, she began to teach me. She showed me the truths of souls, of the core that lay hidden within, of the very essence that bound life to existence. She taught me, and for the first time, someone’s words sank into me. I learned easily, hungrily. As her lessons sank in, I began to understand... and I... I don’t know why, but I smiled.
I smiled because someone was focusing on me.
I smiled because someone was giving me attention.
That... that alone made me feel something I thought I had lost forever.
It made me smile.
Smile?
Again?
I didn’t know how many years had passed since the last time my lips curved in joy, but in that moment... I was happy.
“You need to close your emotions to other things... just focus on the soul, and try to combine it with your consciousness,” she said to me, her voice serious... Like she wanted me!
I smiled softly at her words before nodding, closing my eyes, trying to feel what she spoke of....
I needed to do what she asked of me!
I needed to prove myself to her!
She was the one who was looking at me... for who I truly am!
She wasn’t judging me!
She wasn’t... disgusted by me!
I needed to keep up with her expectations... and for that, I did everything I possibly could!
So that she would like me... maybe even love me, in the way everyone whispers about when they speak of love.
I wonder... what would her love feel like?
Would it be something greater than anything else in this world?
Haha... just thinking about it made my heart leap, made me happy, and only pushed me to become even more eager, more desperate, to prove myself to her.
Hah... however,
“Mommy~”
A soft, innocent cry cut through the air. I saw a little girl running toward the Empress, her tiny feet pattering against the floor. As soon as she appeared, the Empress abandoned everything she was doing and ran toward her without hesitation.
“My little sweet daughter~”
Her voice was filled with warmth I had never heard before.
Her daughter... The True Daughter!
... And that’s when I realized... who I really was to her. What I was to her.
I... I am just a Servant for her.
....
Well...
Well, I mean, that isn’t so bad, right?
H-haha... I mean... after all, I-I am just a thrown-away girl... I... I shouldn’t be hoping for something more, right?
More... ha... More... ah?
I watched them embrace, arms wrapping around each other as though the world itself didn’t matter.
I watched them kiss their faces with tenderness and love.
I watched them bathe together, their laughter echoing like music I could never reach.
I watched... as the Empress dressed her with her tender hands, carefully fastening every ribbon and smoothing every crease.
I watched them sleep together, the little girl curled into her, safe, warm, and loved.
I watched them... always together.
.... For the first time in my life, I felt something new.
Pain?
Yes... a pain in my chest.
I pressed my hand against my chest, confused, trembling. I felt something I had never once felt before.
And as I watched Lia—her daughter—being pampered more and more, that pain grew sharper, heavier, unrelenting.
It just kept increasing!
Even when those children bullied me... even when my parents cast me away... even when the entire world ignored my existence... I never felt this kind of pain.
So why?
Why now?
Why does it hurt like this?
WHY!!!